So I called in sick on MLK day and my boss wasn't too happy about it cause I'm not "black". Whatev's faked sick went to the doctors and got a note. Can't touch me now bitch. Doctor's notes are my ace in the hole. No one, and I repeat NO ONE fakes sick like me. Ferris Bueller ain't got shit on me. Coughing all over the place, boogers and snot everywhere, drop the word diarrhea if I have to, think I give a shit (see what I did there)? Faking sick and getting work/school off is my gift in life. If there was an olympic event for it well...I'd fake sick and wouldn't even show up like you read about. I have a great fake sick system in place, never twice in the same month, and NEVER I repeat NEVER leave the house. Order some pizza and crush some movies on demand.
PS
My emergency family member game is just as hot. Columbus Day and I have to work? Nah my sister's in the hospital. Oh you need me to work on my birthday? Sorry my Dad had another heart attack.
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